Ah, Life.

Less than a week until D-Day! I went to the doc this morning and he said I was dilated 1 cm..... how can that be when a different doc said I was 1.5 at 32 weeks (which was 7 weeks ago...) and another different doc last week measured me at just under 3 cm? I'm very confused... oh well. I'll just say I'm around.... 2 cm? :)
I finally accepted the fact today (after some tears and more worries) that everything WILL be ok. I've been stressing so much that the baby will come while Matt is in a test but I realized today that there's nothing I can do about it if that happens and that we'll take things as they come. And I've been stressing out about how life is going to work with two kids and a husband who will still be very busy in school for anther year and a half. But, like I said, things WILL be ok and I know I can do it and I need to not worry about the future and/or things I cannot control. I don't actually WANT the baby to come early, I just want him to come when it's most convenient for me! ha ha I know he'll come when he's ready and I really just want him to arrive safely and for him to be healthy!
My husband pointed out today that I've been being negative and feeling sorry for myself (he did it in a loving way) and I realized he's right. Not just about my impatience to have the baby but about everything. So I made a decision today that I need to have a better attitude and somehow get my mind off having the baby because it's driving me crazy. I actually like being pregnant and I know I need to enjoy the last week or so. I need to be patient and happy no matter what my circumstances are.
Here I am at 39 weeks!

On a side note, does anyone who is reading this use Window's Live Writer? I've been doing all of my posts from there (WAY easier and faster for uploading pictures) but all of a sudden it won't work for me... I'll finish a post but then it won't publish. If anyone has a clue let me know... :)

Pharmacy Rotations!

Last week Matt got his rotation schedule for next year! I guess it's next year, but really he starts in May so it's almost upon us. Each rotation is 4 weeks long and he does 9 of them during the year with one rotation off and a 7 week break over Thanksgiving and Christmas. We're really excited that we know where he's going but I'm a little bit bummed that we won't have our own home for a whole year. We're going to move in with Matt's parents which is a huge blessing so that will be our home base and then there are a few places where the kids and I will be able to go and live with Matt. It will be hard to be a nomad with two little kids but we're very grateful that we'll have places to stay with different members of Matt's family.
So here's where he'll be!

• Omaha, NE
• Basin, WY
• Thayne, WY
• Laramie (for two different rotations)
• Longmont, CO
• Powell, WY
• Cheyenne, WY (this is really one rotation but lasts twice as long so 8 weeks instead of 4)

Hopefully the kids and I will be able to go with Matt when he goes to Basin, Thayne, and Powell because he has family in those areas that we're hoping we'll be able to stay with. He's hoping to live with a friend while he's in Longmont who has that same rotation and then he'll come home on weekends. When he's in Omaha he'll stay there the whole 4 weeks and I probably won't see him that entire time which will be hard but it's the only one where I won't see him at least on weekends so it could be worse!
As for the baby, I went to the doctor yesterday and in two weeks I progressed exactly zero. :( I'm still about 50% effaced and not quite 3cm. I really wanted to have the baby this week to avoid Matt's many tests that he has in the next couple weeks but it's not going to happen. I'm stressing myself out about it because he CANNOT miss these tests and he has to do well on them in order to pass this semester. Yikes! I just keep praying that the baby will come on a day when Matt will be able to be there with me the whole time and that he'll be able to have enough time to study.
The future is kind of freaking me out at the moment but at the same time it's really exciting and there are a lot of changes coming our way!
A picture of Brennen for good measure. :) He was "reading" my book.

A short baby update

I went to the doctor this morning and found out that I’m 2-3 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Yay! He said that the baby could come any time or he could wait a few more weeks. Either is fine with me and it’s nice to hear that if he comes now he’ll be fine. I know I can’t plan these things but if it were up to me I’d have him somewhere between March 11th and March 18th (spring break). But he’ll come when he’s ready I suppose!

We have a few names that we like but we’re really leaning toward one in particular. We don’t really want to tell people (and we don’t even say it out loud very often which I think is funny) because we don’t want people to start calling him that in case we change our minds once he’s born. Here are a few that we like in alphabetical order. Feel free to comment on which one(s) you like but please don’t tell me what you DON’T like. :)

His middle name will be Tanner.
Dean
Ian
James
Joel
Noah
Wesley

Sometimes I come across a name that I like but if I don’t write it down right away I forget so this list is likely to change still. There’s one on there that I keep taking on and off because I can’t decide. :)

Here I am at 36 weeks!

 

A Random Post

• Stickers. I got Brennen a big sheet of stickers from the dollar store a couple months ago and I got them out today. He LOVED them and was happily occupied for an hour.
• Talking. Brennen talks a TON and identifies things that I had no idea he knew (ice cube tray, for example). When he yells “hand hand!” at us and tries to pull us around, instead of just going with him we’re asking him to tell us what he wants and he does!
• Little helper. Brennen suddenly likes helping me with chores. It’s actually way easier to get things done this way because he’s not upset that I’m not paying attention to him because he’s involved, too. He loves putting clothes from the washer into the dryer and sometimes asks if we can do laundry. :) He also helps unload the dishwasher and loves putting things in the trash and putting stuff where it goes.
• Resolutions. I don’t usually make new years resolutions but this year I kind of did. They were: positive, patient and practice. I figured the “P” thing would help me remember. :) I’ve been making a real effort to be more positive and patient and it has really been working and I’m a much happier person! Matt got me some pretty tough piano books for Christmas so I wanted to practice more and I’ve learned a lot of new pieces and I LOVE being able to play something that was difficult to learn.
• Nesting. The bassinet is already in our room, the clothes are washed and in drawers, I have a box of newborn diapers, I’ve washed all the bottles, and the next steps are: buying a swing, putting the car seat in the car, and cleaning everything. :) Here’s a picture of the car seat cover/tent thingy (don’t know the real name…) that I made last week with lots of help from my friend Sarah. I love it! :)
  
• Excited. I have just under 6 weeks until my due date and I am pumped! I’m not looking forward to that whole natural childbirth thing that I want to do again (hopefully without pitocin this time!) but I’m really excited to meet this baby! For the first half of my pregnancy I couldn’t imagine having two kids but now I really can and it seems like this new little guy was always meant to be in our family, even though we haven’t officially met him yet. I think a lot about what he’ll be like, though, because I can’t imagine what a little boy who is NOT Brennen will be like. :) Brennen was a bit difficult for me when he was a baby and has always been wild and crazy but has the BEST personality. This little guy is super active and moves constantly I swear. But hopefully he won’t be quite as crazy as his big brother. :)
• Rotations. Matt gets to put in his requests for rotations this week! We’re excited but it will be a bummer having him gone so much. He’ll do nine 4-week rotations during the year with a few weeks on campus in between rotations and a few weeks of break. So in a month or so we’ll know for sure what his schedule will be next year!
• Pig. I am a total PIG lately! I eat so much all the time. I stayed at the same weight for about a month and a half then at my last appointment I’d gained 5 pounds in less than a week (that was less than a week after my hospital deal so I’m hoping that was mostly water weight from all the fluids they pumped into me but who knows!) and I’m predicting at my appointment today that I’ll have gained a ton more ha ha but I’m actually ok with it because I know what I need to do after the baby is born to lose weight. And I secretly (or not so secretly…) LOVE food so it’s nice that I don’t have to count calories right now. :) That being said, here I am at 34 weeks! (pardon the pink pajama pants… I wear them ALL the time these days. When I’m at home that is…)

My hospital stay

So Monday morning I woke up really sick but I went to work anyway thinking I could just tough it out. Well, I only lasted about a half hour before I had to leave.

I spent the day feeling miserable at home. I couldn’t keep anything down and I was having tons of contractions and pressure so I was feeling really worried about the baby so I had my brother Kasey come over to help Matt give me a blessing. The blessing made me feel so much better because in it Matt said that the baby and I would both be healthy despite what we may go through.

I had a doc. appointment at 3:30 anyway so I went in and they found that I was severely dehydrated and I was dilated to about 1.5 cm and having some bleeding so they had me go to the hospital. Once I got there they got me going on IV fluids and anti-nausea meds so I felt better pretty soon but they made me stay overnight because I was still dehydrated. They ended up giving me SEVEN liters of fluid! Needless to say, my hands and face were a tad swollen all day yesterday.

It’s no fun staying the night at the hospital. I didn’t sleep hardly at all because they kept coming in to adjust the monitors because every time I moved they’d lose the baby’s heartbeat. And I obviously had to get up to use the bathroom a lot, too. :) I was sad to leave Brennen overnight because I’d never done that before but he was very happy and well taken care of at Grandma and Grandpa’s.

All the docs told me to take this week off of work and on Friday I’m going in to have them see if I’m more dilated and monitor my contractions and if things are any worse they might “strongly suggest” that I quit working since I’m only a substitute anyway and only have a couple weeks left. I’d like to finish it out but the health of the baby is more important! One of the doctors said he wanted to put me on “half bed rest”. Whatever that means…

Speaking of the baby, he seemed to be doing just fine through all of this. I feel like he was moving constantly for two days and during the ultrasound at the doctor’s office he was measuring right on track (even though I’d lost almost 2 pounds). I’m still so excited for him to get here but being in that room in the hospital made me NOT look forward to child birth. :) And I want him to be as healthy as he can be so I’d love for him to stay in there another 7.5 weeks!

I’m so thankful that we have family here! I don’t know what we’d do without them. And Matt was so sweet to me during this little ordeal. I don’t think he slept much while I was in the hospital but he still went to class, cleaned the house and took care of Brennen. He’s just awesome. :)

Here’s a picture of me at 31 weeks (taken a little over a week ago).