I went to the doctor today just for a normal check-up. For some reason I was extra worried about the baby this past week so I was glad to go to the doctor and see that everything was normal. We get to find out if we’re having a boy or a girl in 3 weeks!
Here comes the confession. I don’t want to give birth again. Ha ha too bad for me, right? I feel like I was a big talker after I had Brennen and told everyone how I was induced and didn’t get an epidural and I really did feel pretty tough. I felt like Superwoman. I realize that women have been giving birth without pain medication for many, many years and that’s one reason why I wanted to do it. I knew it could be done.
That was before I was induced. A friend (I don’t remember who it was now but I’m pretty sure I’ve heard similar analogies from a couple different people) has had natural births being induced and without and she said that it was like comparing a bike ride to a freight train. I’m sure that the bike ride was probably up hill both ways in a really hard gear but I could totally relate to the whole “being induced is like a freight train” thing.
But for some reason even through the freight train-like pain, I never thought of getting an epidural. Ever. I thought about IV drugs but by then it was too late to get them. Looking back I have no idea why I didn’t give in because I have always been a wuss.
So now that the birth of another baby is looming in the not too distant future, the idea of actually HAVING this baby scares me pretty bad. Here are some reasons. I was induced so I never had to decide when to go to the hospital so I’m afraid I won’t know when to go with this one. I don’t want to give birth in my house or in my car! Also, I really had an amazing experience with Brennen and loved the hospital and nurses here and nothing went wrong so I’m afraid that it won’t be that perfect again.
Matt says I worry too much about things that are too far away and/or things that I can’t control. So, I guess I’ll just stop worrying and enjoy being pregnant with my second little miracle.
And I think I’ll probably go natural again. Unless I’m induced…. then we’ll give it some more thought. :)
All this baby/birth talk is making me miss my tiny little Brennen. He sure was cute as a newborn. And he still is!
From newborn to mischievous 16 months in the blink of an eye!