I am a complainer.
I tend to look at the glass as half empty.
I feel sorry for myself.
I get caught up in all the things that I don’t have instead of the things that I do have.
I am impatient with myself and my family.
I sometimes blame Matt when things go wrong just so I can have someone to blame it on.
I eat too much.
I have low self-esteem (especially about my physical appearance).
I spend too much time doing things that are unimportant.
So sometimes I just have to tell myself to “knock it off!”
When I feel my anger building, when I get annoyed, when my head is filled with negative thoughts, when I browse the kitchen for the 3rd time in 10 minutes…..
KNOCK IT OFF!
And honestly, as hard as it is to recognize flaws and try to fix them, I feel SO much better when that little voice in my head tells me to stop it. I actually use the words “knock it off” and it works! (when I remember…)
(on a side note, Matt thinks I’m a bit crazy that I hear voices in my head…)
I could write a separate post about each of these character weaknesses but instead I’ll briefly focus on just two for this post and about things I’ve done or things I’m trying to do to improve.
1. Self esteem.
This one has haunted me for my whole life! When I was in middle school, a few friends and I had “self-esteem weeks.” If I remember right, we owed the others something whenever we said something negative about ourselves. So for every “I’m fat” we had to give the others a candy bar or something. It was fun but it didn’t really work. :)
Now that I’m an old married woman, I find that I feel better about myself if I get dressed and at least put on a little makeup every day. Some days it’s hard to even find time for a shower but it really helps if you dress like you’re going out every day even if you’re not. Also, if I wear sweat pants then I’m not as worried about sucking in that fat roll and I tend to eat more. If you dress in tighter clothes (you know, the ones that actually fit) then you won’t eat as much. Try it! I swear it works.
I recently gave a talk on inner beauty for a relief society activity. It was a difficult topic but it was good for me to give it! It’s good to be reminded that what is on the outside doesn’t matter nearly as much as what is on the inside.
2. Things I don’t have.
As you all know, it was Thanksgiving yesterday. :) We had a really nice day with Matt’s family here in Laramie. We had a great dinner (of course) and played Monopoly (we won’t get into how competitive I am…. I may or may not have left the game angry…)
Everyone always lists what they’re thankful for in November to build up to Thanksgiving. Brennen and I (let’s face it, Dean is just too little) have a thankful tree on our wall (made of poster board) and every day we make a new leaf (from construction paper) and I ask him what he’s thankful for. I don’t have to prompt him hardly at all. Sometimes if he keeps repeating things I’ll say “WHO are you thankful for?” and he’ll come up with another person. We’re going to continue until the end of the month but hopefully we’ll be able to count our blessings every day of every month and focus on things that we DO have! So, here are the things that Brennen is thankful for so for. (in no particular order)
Blaze (Kasey’s dog)
Link (Matt’s parent’s dog)
Aunts and uncles
Lane (Matt’s brother)
Jessica (Lane’s wife)
Mom (he didn’t list me until like the 15th! I was getting worried…)
Nerds (you know, the candy)
Here is our tree. I am NOT an artist. And when I actually attempt to be crafty I don’t really try very hard. (and Brennen did most of the coloring on the tree). So… don’t judge, ok! :)