I went to the doctor today just for a normal check-up. For some reason I was extra worried about the baby this past week so I was glad to go to the doctor and see that everything was normal. We get to find out if we’re having a boy or a girl in 3 weeks!
Here’s my little baby pooch at 17 weeks. 
Here comes the confession. I don’t want to give birth again. Ha ha too bad for me, right? I feel like I was a big talker after I had Brennen and told everyone how I was induced and didn’t get an epidural and I really did feel pretty tough. I felt like Superwoman. I realize that women have been giving birth without pain medication for many, many years and that’s one reason why I wanted to do it. I knew it could be done.
That was before I was induced. A friend (I don’t remember who it was now but I’m pretty sure I’ve heard similar analogies from a couple different people) has had natural births being induced and without and she said that it was like comparing a bike ride to a freight train. I’m sure that the bike ride was probably up hill both ways in a really hard gear but I could totally relate to the whole “being induced is like a freight train” thing.
But for some reason even through the freight train-like pain, I never thought of getting an epidural. Ever. I thought about IV drugs but by then it was too late to get them. Looking back I have no idea why I didn’t give in because I have always been a wuss.
So now that the birth of another baby is looming in the not too distant future, the idea of actually HAVING this baby scares me pretty bad. Here are some reasons. I was induced so I never had to decide when to go to the hospital so I’m afraid I won’t know when to go with this one. I don’t want to give birth in my house or in my car! Also, I really had an amazing experience with Brennen and loved the hospital and nurses here and nothing went wrong so I’m afraid that it won’t be that perfect again.
Matt says I worry too much about things that are too far away and/or things that I can’t control. So, I guess I’ll just stop worrying and enjoy being pregnant with my second little miracle.
And I think I’ll probably go natural again. Unless I’m induced…. then we’ll give it some more thought. :)
All this baby/birth talk is making me miss my tiny little Brennen. He sure was cute as a newborn. And he still is!
From newborn to mischievous 16 months in the blink of an eye!
3 comments:
So cute. I keep forgetting you're expecting. I had all the same concerns with my 2nd because I was induced as well (but gladly accepted the epidural). The "unknown" is scary but if you're not getting an epidural anyway having the baby at home shouldn't be too terrible bc the ambulance in Laramie can probably get to your house in about 30 seconds. I was just scared I wouldn't get to the hospital in time for an epidural (which I didn't)! And I had not prepared myself to be tough, so it was tough. Everything will work out well! If you can do it natural with induction medication you can do anything.
Look at that little cutie!!!! That face is the cutest in the pictures. He looks so fun!
I'm nervous about giving birth too. It has been almost four years. I don't really remember what to expect.
You are so cute! No worries. I don't know what it's like to go into labor either and I hope to be able to experience that some day as well. I'm sure you'll know when it's time and that everything will be ok. I love you and so hope to be able to see your cute pregnant belly!
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