The Good and the Not-So-Good

The good!

On Valentines Day I was thinking about Matt. We don’t do anything special that day (well, the kids and I make cookies and sometimes make valentines). This year I got Matt a 6 pack of Squirt (his favorite) and he got me a bag of gummy bears (my favorite). :)

But I was thinking that I love him every day, not just one dumb day a year when I’m “supposed” to. He’s a great husband but I’ve come to realize that what makes him a great husband is that he is a great father.

I would be a horrible single mom. Some days I’m too tired to argue with them and let them get away with too much. Sometimes if they don’t eat their lunch I still give them a snack. Sometimes I just choose to tune them out when they fight. If Brennen whines I have been known to just give him what he wants so he’ll be quiet. But Matt doesn’t stand for that. He tirelessly enforces discipline and love. He doesn’t put up with whining and complaining. Without him there would probably be no order in our home.

Yesterday was  my 29th birthday and he was so sweet. He took the boys to get me presents and made a cake and then took me out to dinner. He was super stressed about it all afternoon because he is just so busy. I told him to not make a big deal of it but he did anyway to make me feel loved.

So now for the the not so good.

We’ve had some hard trials so far in our marriage. But I feel blessed to say that right now I feel my biggest trial is that my sweet Brennen won’t behave!

He’s one of the “bad kids” at preschool. He gets in trouble every day. (I kinda get annoyed because I’ve been in there to help and I feel like she singles him out. There are a few other kids doing the same things and she harps on him the most. But that doesn’t change the fact that he IS misbehaving).

He won’t keep his body to himself at the carpet and therefore often has to be removed to sit in a chair. He growls at other kids (just for fun, not when he’s mad) and when he’s mad he often lashes out. Today he got in big trouble because he punched two girls! (not on purpose… she said he was just walking around the room all morning swinging his fists and they happened to be in the line of fire…)

And he doesn’t really have any friends there. I know he gets along with most of the kids but he doesn’t get invited over to play (which I’m kinda ok with…) or to parties but it makes me feel sad for him (and partly that it’s my fault because I’m not friends with the other moms).

And he’s only 3! I feel bad that he has to deal with all of these things already. He is doing SO great and is in the top academic groups (if you can call it academic in preschool). But I’m questioning my decision to put him in so young…

I have shed tears over this and have no idea what to do! He can be SO sweet and behaves like an angel at church. I feel like nothing I try works (at home or school) and that maybe I need to pull him and keep him at home. But he loves it and is doing great and how will he learn to fix his behavior if he’s never around other kids?

Anyway, I really needed to get that out so I guess my blog is a good “venting” place. :)