Sacrifices

Recently there were two really great job opportunities presented to me. They would have been full time music teaching positions, both of which would have been a dream job for me, and I think I had a really good chance at getting either one of them. 

I filled out the applications but before I submitted them I prayed and prayed about what it would mean for our family if I accepted a full time job. I felt very strongly in my heart that I was not supposed to do it. 

I cried and felt frustrated and here is why. 

-I love teaching music and I feel like I am wasting my degree and my talents by not doing it. 

-I get so stir crazy here at home. There is very little adult interaction and very little time for me to do anything for myself. If I were working I could continue to develop my talents.

-Both jobs were in a location where we'd really like to settle down with our family.

-Me working would add much needed income to our growing family. 

But in the days when I was praying about this I was also reading through a book filled with teachings from a leader in the LDS church, a former prophet, Ezra Taft Benson. There is so much good material about the roles of mother and father but these two things were probably my favorites: 

A child needs a mother more than all the things money can buy. Spending time with your children is the greatest gift of all.

Do you know one reason why righteous mothers love their children so much? Because they sacrifice so much for them. We love what we sacrifice for and we sacrifice for what we love.

I do make some sacrifices. I am bored. I have very few good friends. I sacrifice countless material possessions. I have put my professional aspirations aside. 

There are times when I feel like I am NOT doing a good job being a mother. But I've realized the truth of it. We do NOT need extra income at the expense of childcare. It is much more valuable for me personally to be at home with my children. We can make the sacrifice to live with a single income while the children are little until it makes more sense for me to be working. And we can get by just fine that way. We just have to continue to sacrifice excess. 

It is SO HARD sometimes to be at home by myself with 3 little boys and to live on not a lot of money but I know that this is where I am supposed to be and we DO get by with what Matt makes. 

I cannot imagine how working mothers do everything and I admire them so much! I know I couldn't possibly make the time to do a good job at work and be able to grocery shop, prepare meals, clean the home, and make things run smoothly. The house is never clean as it is despite my many daily attempts. :)

My days are filled with monotony. Dishes, laundry, cleaning up messes, getting drinks, fixing meals. I never get a break or a day off (and neither do working mothers, good grief!). But my days are also filled with more joy than I ever could have imagined before I became a mother. They are filled with kisses and hugs, reading stories, car races, sword fights, blowing bubbles outside, drawings just for me, new insights to the world seen through the eyes of my children, and a lot of love! My little boys count on me and I know that they feel secure and safe because of the time I spend with them.

I know that not all mothers feel that they are able to stay at home or they choose to work outside the home. But for me, through a lot of prayer and sacrifice, I know that this is best for me and my family. At least for now!

I didn't write this to praise my sacrifices or myself, I just needed to justify my decision and this kind of thing helps me. :) I also hope that maybe someone else who reads it can find answers to their prayers about similar situations and decisions!

And just for fun, here are the boys with their Easter baskets. :)

They Just Keep Getting Older!

"Baby" Dean turned 3 last Friday! Matt had the day off so we just kind of played at home. We did go see some baby chicks and then play at the park for a few minutes. We opened presents and had cake in the afternoon then the missionaries came for dinner later. Dean loves it when they come so it worked out nicely. Also that evening he got a new baby cousin! Matt's brother Lane and his wife Jessica welcomed a new baby BOY! It was an extra birthday bonus.

His favorite color is pink and I think that's ok because he doesn't know that colors have genders. :) So he really wanted pink frosting on his cake as well as cars so this is what I came up with, The 3 is supposed to be a car track but it doesn't look as cool as the ones you can find on pinterest. :) He sure liked it, though, and that's all that mattered! (even better was that it was WAY easy for me!)

 














He got a lot of good things for his birthday. The things he seemed to like most were some more tracks for their wooden train set from Dad, his animal puzzle from Mom, the dino cups from Grandma Clark and his crayon dry erase board from Grandma Hope. Those are the things he keeps playing with anyway.

We love him SO much! He is shy around other kids, smiles his cute smile for adults, fights (and plays) with Brennen, loves reading stories and laughing at Seth, and he plays with anything you give him. He throws fits like any 3 year old but yet is easy going and much more subdued than Brennen. He is independent in that he likes to pick out his clothes and is totally fine playing all by himself but is still quite attached to me and wants me to hold his hand everywhere we go. He is such a sweetheart.

And Seth is 5 months old! He army crawls and can get anywhere he wants. He often gets himself stuck in places and can't get out. He laughs and likes to play "games" with us. He absolutely loves his brothers, smiles and laughs whenever he sees them. He is finally sleeping a little better at night (still wakes up usually twice, though). He is just a happy little boy and I can't believe how much he is growing! He also started eating solid foods, just rice cereal for now, sometimes with a smidge of applesauce. He just loves it and is way better about it than his brothers were.

And a couple pictures from the park yesterday.

It's the Little Things

Seth's doctor is in Gillette so I have to travel there with all three boys for his appointments. I also take the opportunity to stock up on food and other items at Wal Mart since food is so gosh darn expensive here. It takes just over an hour to get there.

Normally it's a stressful time with fighting or screaming or complaining or crying kids (or all of the above) but today it was awesome! Seth was SO happy at the doc and only cried for about 5 seconds after his shots. Then they were all happy and well behaved for over an hour at the store. I told the older boys several times how much I appreciated how good they were.

Then on the way back I saw 3 bald eagles and I absolutely love those! AND all three boys fell asleep so I was able to sing along to old CD's. It's funny how listening to those songs I used to listen to 10 or more years ago makes me think of certain people and experiences. I was thinking about how everything that I've gone through and all of the people I've been close to so far in my life have been necessary for me to get to where I am now. And where I am now is: very happy!

Seth is 4 months old!
Weight: 12 lb. 13 oz. Only 9%! He's been sick and hasn't been eating quite so much so I think he's actually lost some ounces.
Length: 25 1/4 inches, 48%
Head: 41 3/4 cm, 49%

He is "talking" a TON and smiles and laughs at the drop of a hat. He is such a happy, fun baby. The sounds he makes are unique to him and they're so funny, he practically scream talks. Unfortunately, he is waking up twice or three times a night without fail and his mother is starting to get tired of it! Good thing he's so stinkin' cute.

We've decided to send Brennen to kindergarten next year! He will be 5 in June and is quite ready we think. He can read some already but what I think is really impressive is his math skills. He just really seems to understand numbers. Here is an example of a sheet he did all on his own. He only got two wrong and then fixed them by himself. He has since done one more like it and got 100%. Smarty pants! His dad likes making these for him to do.

And lastly, I came across this picture the other day and it cracked me up! Matt was not amused by my interpretation of it but I laugh every time I look at it now. It was taken 4 days before I had Seth at Old McDonald's farm near Rapid City. In case you can't see it, the sign says "Please do not feed." Coincidence that the sign is next to a huge pregnant woman who has already gained 44 pounds? I think not. Yes, please! Do not feed! hee hee

The Big 3-0

I turned 30 this Wednesday! I can't even believe how fast the last decade has gone. But while I had a pretty good childhood, I have to say the best things in my life (so far) happened in my 20s. I moved to Laramie, graduated from UW, met and married Matt, we both landed full time teaching jobs (and then I stopped working to stay home!) and I gave birth to all three of my sons. If the 30s are close to that good then I guess it will be ok to get "old." :)

Matt made me a cake and let me order pizza for dinner. Then we opened presents and the boys were so excited all day for that. Brennen got me cadburry mini eggs, Dean got me mini recess cups, and Matt got me a scarf and a sewing machine! Now I need to learn to sew. :)

I never did post a picture of Seth at 3 months so here he is!

Also, my little brother got married last week! He met such an amazing girl and they were married for time and all eternity in the Idaho Falls temple. It was a really great weekend despite our 21 hours in the car. The older two boys were really awesome in the car but little Seth would go the first 3 hours of each stretch without a peep but then after stopping to feed him he would be TICKED to have to go back in his seat. The worst was from Casper back to Newcastle when he screamed the whole way. 

Here are some pictures from the weekend!

Me with my lovely sisters!

Near the end of the epic wedding journey. He was a trooper!

We're a Happy Family!

We had such a great time over Christmas break! 

We got to Lyman late on December 19th so we could see my sister that weekend. We were even able to go to the temple, YAY! We spent Christmas there in Lyman with my family.

Matching on Christmas Eve

Twas the night before Christmas

A little present

Our family on Christmas night

We got to Laramie the evening of the 26th and were able to see all of Matt's family there before we came back home on the 31st.

The parents with their two remaining children :)

Grandma and Grandpa with all their grandkids

Matthew family

Kyle family

Lane family

Nathan family (they borrowed Dean since they don't have kids yet, hee hee)

Seth sleeping on Grandma's couch

Our 8th anniversary was on the 30th so we went to dinner with all the married siblings a few nights before and then just the two of us went out for ice cream on the 30th. On the way home from our date this song (Shotgun Rider by Tim McGraw) came on and Matt actually told me it was how he felt about me and he never pays attention to song lyrics (and dislikes country) so it meant a lot for him to say that. :)

Roll, won’t you come roll with me slow, fast, full speed
Girl wherever sweet time takes us
Hang, with me down this old road
Only God knows where we’ll go
Don’t matter long as I’ve got your love

[Chorus]
I don’t ever want to wake up,
Lookin’ into someone else’s eyes
Another Voice calling me baby
On the other end of the phone
A new girl puttin’ on her makeup
Before dinner on Friday night
No I don’t ever wanna know, Oh O
No other shotgun rider, beside me, singin’ to the radio, Woohoo Oh O

Slide, slide over nice and close
Lay your head down on my shoulder
You can fall asleep I’ll let you
Dream, life aint nothing but a dream, don’t wanna be 
Cruisin’ through this dream without you

[Chorus]
I don’t ever want to wake up,
Lookin’ into someone else’s eyes
Another Voice calling me baby
On the other end of the phone
A new girl puttin’ on her makeup
Before dinner on Friday night
No I don’t ever wanna know, Oh O
No other shotgun rider, beside me, singin’ to the radio, Woohoo Oh O
No other shotgun rider, Oh O

We had a very mild but fun new years eve together just the 5 of us. We taught Brennen tripoley (he won) and after they were in bed we watched a movie. We did stay up until midnight but we had been staying up at least that late the whole trip so needless to say we were a bit sleep deprived and literally spent the rest of the break taking turns letting each other sleep. :)

My Seth is now 2 1/2 months old! He's been sick so much since he's been born and it makes it hard for him to sleep and be happy but the past week or so he has obviously felt better and has been SO happy when he's awake and has slept much better. He "talks" constantly and grins and giggles. Here are his 2 month stats and a couple of pictures. 
Weight: 11 lb 5 oz (18%)
Height: 22 3/4 inches (25%)
Head: 39 1/2 cm (52%)

2 months!

The other night at 11 weeks old at 11:00 PM happy as can be when he should have been sleeping!